I talked about my highs last time & some of the lows, but recently I encountered every self-employed person’s nightmare!  Not being able to work.  I am used to working while my daughter is ill but not being able to work for nearly a week is a whole different ballgame.

It is something in the back of my mind, right at the depths, but something I didn’t really think about too often, until forced to last week.   The occasional day due to ill health happens to us all but a week doesn’t or in my case it does but to other people not me.  Being a single parent I don’t have time to be ill if I can’t function then nothing gets done, there is no slack in the system or bail out clause.

 Having nursed my daughter through her latest bug, visited the GP, administered Nurofen by the bucket load all seemed to be calming down & my daughter made it to school.  Disaster struck, I got the same flu type bug, ok it’s the Friday night, no problem I’ll be fine by Monday.  Fat chance Sunday night I still felt ill (a little better than death warmed up but not much), time for a frantic call to another Mum who has children at the same school & has also child minded in the past for me.  Thank you Barbara you saved my life last week there was no chance I could walk the 3 miles each day to & from school.  Okay I thought at least my darling daughter (DD) is going to school; no probs I can still do the admin side of my work. (biggest joke in the world) ¾ hour later I am back on the sofa, under a blanket, having emailed my clients to tell them I am ill and not available and will keep them informed.    The lurgy has definitely won.  This resulted in a frantic text to my Mum 2000 miles away asking her to come.  I am in my 40’s & still want my Mum when I am poorly.  What I hadn’t banked on was the lack of flight availability.

Two days later Mum arrived DD has been fed properly, as all I could manage to do was put something in the oven before the waves of dizziness & nausea took over.  Trying to concentrate was like treading through treacle, towards the end of the week I managed to do some work interspersed with regular rests on the sofa & copious amounts of water, & food once Mum arrived.  We are both ex-nurses and very bossy!  I didn’t even complain about being told what to do, a sure sign I am not well!

It is now just over a week on, the tiredness persists, Mum is doing the school run & I am trying not to fall asleep again.  I have managed to concentrate for more than 2 hours & my clients have understood.  From a work perspective this is the first time in several weeks that my Monday has gone as I have planned.  I live in hope for the rest of the week.  It is only when you can’t do something you realise how much you crave the ability to do what you really want to & the need to plan & follow through with those plans.

I still look pale (difficult when you are mixed race, but not impossible).

Normal service is being resumed.  All I could think about was how much I was letting my clients down, my daughter & the guilt about dragging Mum to the UK to look after us, not to mention the lack of money coming in.  Still like most self-employed people I am exceedingly cautious about spending money during the good times, for just such an occasion as this & with August just round the corner I know I am not going to earn much, as traditionally it is very quiet & we are off to warmer climes to recharge our batteries, & visit my parents.  How I love trying to keep all those balls in the air & I value my health, even more than before. Thanks Mum.